He kisses me with love and touches me again; his gentle hands on my face tell me it was more than just a moment’s lust. I kiss him with my heart as his mother and his lover. We go back upstairs and the usual dinnertime buzz is starting but I’m in another place. It’s almost excruciating to say and do what I’ve been saying and doing for years. I want to talk to AJ. I want to be with AJ. I want to touch AJ. Finally there’s a moment where we’re alone in the kitchen. “AJ we have to talk about all this.” He comes up to me and says “sure mom but I’d rather kiss you”. His lips are on me and I’m sparked by his tongue but I pull back.